Safety Planning

• Find and get to a lower risk space in the home and have your charged mobile with you:

• Call 999 and ask for the police. If you cannot speak, listen and respond to instructions by making a noise or tapping. If you are using a mobile phone, you can also silently press 55 when prompted to and this will flag that you need help.

• If you can, think of a safe place for your children to stay safe while your abuser is violent. This could be a trusted friend or neighbour or a place in the home they can easily escape from.

• If it is safe to do so, tell a trusted third-party what you are experiencing. This could be a family member, friend, or colleague. Together you can devise a safe way to communicate such as text, code words or phrases, or simply checking in.

• Consider if you could approach your neighbours in an emergency. By telling your neighbours what you are going through they can call the police if they hear a disturbance. You could both devise a signal to alert the neighbours that you are in danger.

• Report any injuries to your GP: This allows you to have a record of the abuse as well as get you the medical treatment you need.

• You may want to take notes of abusive incidents, including times, dates, names and details of injuries.

• If you want to speak to Moray Women’s Aid without being traced, try to use phones or computers in a public place, like your local library.

• Keep a list of emergency numbers of services or friends who can help you, try to memorise a few essential numbers such as: Police, relatives, friends, Moray Women’s Aid, Scotland’s Domestic Abuse Helpline.

• Don’t hesitate to call the police on 999 if you need help.

• Consider where the nearest safe space to phone from is, if your phone is out of battery or broken when you leave: this could be a neighbour, phone box, local library.

• Teach your children how to call 999 in an emergency; tell them what they would need to say (e.g. their full name, address and telephone number).

• Teach your children how to call a trusted family member or friend. Help them memorise phone numbers in case of emergency.

• Keep a separate set of keys in a safe place or next to your bed, in case you need to leave in a hurry.

• Keep enough cash for a taxi fare or a phone call in a safe place.

• Plan an escape route: If you can, practice an escape plan so you and any children can get away safely in an emergency. It is ok to explain to children who are old enough that you may have to leave quickly in an emergency.

• If it is at night; consider where you can go. Is there a friend who you can contact at night? Is there a 24-hour Supermarket nearby with access to Wi-Fi?

• Ask friends and family in advance if you can stay with them in an emergency.

• If you are injured, access your local A&E or your GP.

• Contact Moray Women’s Aid.

• Keep important documents such as passports and birth certificates in a safe place so you could take them with you if you need to leave. It is also possible to leave these important documents (or copies of them) with a trusted friend ahead of leaving.

• Pack an emergency bag for yourself and your children and hide it somewhere safe (e.g. at a neighbour’s or friend’s house).

If you can and it is safe to do so, you can pack a bag ahead of time. It is important to hide these items where your abuser can not find them. Your safety and your children’s safety are of high priority so if you must leave without these things, that is ok:

• Important documents such as:

• Marriage and Birth certificates
• Passports
• Immigration documents/National ID cards
• Driving licence
• Credit cards
• Rent book or mortgage papers
• Any documentation relating to the abuse such as police reports or court orders

• Key for your house, car, and place of work

• Clothes and toiletries for several days

• Essential medicines

• Children’s favourite toys

• Sentimental items: photographs, jewellery, etc.

• If you have a routine that your abuser is aware of, try to change the routine or at least the route. For example, if he knows you will take the children to school a certain route or a certain time, try to arrange a later drop off and take a different path.

• You can carry a personal alarm.

• Inform your children’s school or nursery what has happened, and let them know who will pick them up. Make sure they do not disclose your new address or telephone number to anyone.

• If possible, inform your employer or colleagues. Your employer may implement extra safety measures.

• Make sure that your local police station has a copy of any court orders, you can request a Grade One marker for your address which will ensure the police will prioritise you if you call in an emergency.

• Change phone and number to ensure there is no tracking device or software.

• Do not send digital photographs to the abuser as they often contain location data. When posting on social media do not give away your location and turn location services off on your apps and phone.

• If in the event you need to phone your abuser, or someone who may pass on your information, make sure your telephone number is untraceable by dialling 141 before ringing.

• Change passwords for important online accounts such as; your email, online banking, social media and any website your abuser may know you use.

• Tell your children, friends and family to keep your address and location confidential.

• Avoid using shared credit or debit cards or joint bank accounts. If your abuser knows your PIN, ask the bank to change this for you.

• If you are going through any court action, talk to the police, your solicitor, or local authority about making sure that your address does not appear on any documents.

• If your abuser does not obey any court orders such as a non-harassment order or child contact agreement, you should also tell your solicitor.

• Keep detailed records of each incident of harassment, threats or abuse to you or your children, include the date and time of the incident, what was said or done, and photographs of damage to your property or injuries to yourself or others.

• If injured, see your GP or go to hospital for treatment and make sure they record it.

• Change locks and put locks on windows.

• Ask the police for advice about making your home more secure.

• Consider escape routes.

• Install an external automatic security light (back and front) which turns on when someone approaches.

• If you can afford it, install a Video doorbell such as Ring so you can see who approaches your door.

• Inform neighbours that your partner no longer lives with you – ask them to call the police if they see him in the area.

• Tell school who can pick up your children and who cannot.

• Keep detailed records of any incident of harassment, threats or abuse to you or your children. Include the date and time it occurred, what was said or done, and photographs of damage to your property or injuries to yourself or others.

• If your partner or ex-partner injures you, see your GP or go to hospital for treatment and ask them to record your visit.

• See a solicitor. They can advise you of your rights and assist in getting a court order to protect you from your partner.

• If you already have a court order in place, you should ask the police to enforce this. Request a Grade One marker for your home. If your abuser does not obey any court orders, such as a non-harassment order, you should also tell your solicitor and report to the police.

Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline is available 24/7 to talk to you about your own experience, or to support you if you are concerned about someone else.

Call: 0800 027 1234

Email: Helpline@sdafmh.org.uk

Web chat: www.sdafmh.org.uk